January 8, 2008

teach me pompei

another journal entry:

August 13th, Monday - Train from Naples to somewhere in Greece.

i miss home tragically. i think what i miss most about it though are the people i love there and being able to interact and communicate with them. after 42 days of traveling i have learned quite a bit about myself. i have gotten to the point where i am completely devoid of concern for food, clothes, makeup, and all the other superficial accouterments that once occupied my thoughts. i think a lot about cody, and heather, and courtnie, casey too (surprisingly), ryan, marcus, running, and that's basically it.

this morning i woke up and walked out onto our balcony, over looking the Sorento Gulf and Positano's beach. i sat there for a good hour and talked to God about my heart. i thanked Him for this place, and my life, and spiritual grace. i watched as brightly colored boats raced up and down the jetties, and weaved in between one another like a carefully orchestrated stunt team.

yesterday was amazing. we rented a boat and explored the coastlines of the Amalfie Coast. we found a little grotto that opened up at the base of a massive cliff. when i dove into the water i swear i lost my breath, it was that cold. we all swam against the current into the dark depths of some un-fortold mediterranean cave and found a glowing beam of light coming up from under the water. logically it must of come from some opening above us, but we were too tired and cold for logic. it was magic to us then and i wouldn't like to think of it any other way now.

to be honest, the trip has gotten so much more fun with the guys. we have bonded like a proper tribe. our make shift family is no longer just exotic chocolate (the rediculous name we call ourselves), but something much more. teen gets on with reed and i've had some great times with jonsey. will has been kinda moody, but that's to be expected with this type of traveling at such a long period of time.

right now we are in route to greece. we have something like 11 hours of traveling to do today. i am pleased to say we are pro's at the train commuting thing now. at first it's so confusing, and then it feels boring just sitting there, and of course irritating to be around smelly strangers. after 37 train rides in 42 days we have learned how to deal and make it fun- i write, listen to music, sleep, take pictures, think, read, pray, drink,watch the guys super glue euro's to the floor, slip n' slide down the hallways, swing on polls, and just laugh with the friends who have recently become the closest things to family members i know in this chapter of my life. (click here and see for yourself)

we passed mt. vesuvius today. i read all about the history of pompei and thought a lot about how all those people died so tragically. their entire lives and community was cemented and locked in time by volcanic ash. less dramatically and completely empathetical i can sort of relate to these people. i even admire them. one day they woke up, went about their day like any other, tending to their lives and jobs and children, then out of nowhere, in an instant, they are epically locked into time for all eternity. their lives are no longer remedial, rather they are time capsules for history books to recite and critique and immortalize. everything they lived for and accomplished was going to end sooner or later. what most likely would have been worn away and forgotten in the passing of time is now a molten monument.

my life is very basic and in no way epic. history books will more than likely never mention me and my minor life accomplishments will probably go forgotten a few years after my death. i am okay with that. i guess that's the difference between me now and me 10 years ago. as a kid i had this intense fear of being forgotten, of leading a life that left no humanitarian legacy behind. now i kind of scoff at that notion. perhaps it's because it alludes to a life lived for something other than myself. and as i see more of the world i see more of myself. the world opens up for me and complicates itself with cities, languages, borders, trains, religions - all the while i become increasingly more focused and simple. things that once were important to me are no longer my concerns. the world and my place in it is very basic and cosmically plane. i am the one who complicates this union, with cell phones, colleges, car payments, and romantic conquests.
somewhere there is a balance and i am loving every moment i spend, completely removed from the norm, finding out what that is.

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