January 8, 2008

be brave

August 18th, Saturday - Corfu Airport.

i am so sad to be leaving Greece. i have had the most incredible adventures here. in the 6 short days we spent on the small island of corfu i have accomplished much. i jumped off of 3 cliffs into the middle of the adriatic sea, i kayaked to athena's island, and stood where ulysses and odysseus contemplated the greatest voyage of all time. i sat in the hot springs, sipped uzo with australians, swam in the clearest waters, basked under the Greek sun, danced the nights away with lovely boys in a noisy poladium, sneaking kisses and smiles, and feeling so alive that i thought for sure i would die happy right then and there.

its such a special thing, to travel the world and meet other travelers along the way. i have realized that even though these people come from other countries, much more diverse than mine, completely foreign to me, 1000's of miles away from everything i know, communicating in other languages, they are still just like me. in spite of everything that separates us, we are strongly connected. we share a unique drive and desire to see the world, to take it all in, and to figure out who we are from it. and there is no language barrier, custom, or tradition, that can hamper such a bond.

a few days ago, a group of like 15 people, including myself, climbed the cliffs of athena's island. we rang the bell at the peaks church tower. 1 ring for safe travels, 2 for love, 3 for figuring out what to do with your life, 4 for good timing, 5 for good luck in the after life, and 6 to the mystery gods. then we all sat around, exhausted from the swim and climb- we drank cactus moonshine and talked about the things we've seen in corfu. we were all cementing that moment in our minds for eternity. i could feel it.

the next day 30 or 40 of us climbed onto a rickety old sailboat and set out into the great unknown. nervousness pitted in the bottom of my belly as we swayed along the high sea's in search of diving cliffs. the first one was over 50 ft high and insanely intimidating. the scary thing about cliff diving isn't necessarily the jump, rather its the climb to the top. i scaled a 50 foot high, slimy, slippery mountain, soaking wet, in rubber sandals. i swear i could feel my heart beating in my throat.

after that jump we went to another cliff that was actually located inside a cave. i can remember diving off the boat into the water, looking up into the lofty abyss, thinking that this is where they must have filmed the movie goonies. about 15 of us swam as far back into this cave as we possibly could, until it was completely pitch black, and we couldn't see a single thing. bat's were zipping over our heads and on the count of three we all screamed together at the top of our lungs. why? well, why not? no to mention, teen and i had consumed enough greek beer to muster up the courage to jump the cliff half naked. no regrets!

our final stop was a deserted island with a beach so beautiful, i could scarcely concieve it. the shoreline was covered in a million tiny stones, which resembled snow more so than sand. i burried reed up to his neck it in it, and laughed threw my stomach as he drunkenly stumbled out of what he called an early grave. this was a day for the books! everyone was swimming, and singing, and melting together, like the community robinson crusoe must have craved for himself in such a lonely paradise. i was crushing hard on joel- a dark haired australian boy, with a swimmers body and angry eyebrows. we played football under the setting sun and i stole some guys straw hat. the ride back to corfu is a bit foggy, but i know that joel made his move and kissed me. never before has a kiss felt so sealed and final. later that night we climbed up onto the roof of the pink palace, we laid on our beach towels, and stared up at the constellations. i found cassiopeia. the universe was ours.

life is short but sweet for certain. i will miss you greece.

in 2 days i will be back home. i don't know what to think about that. i'm all mixed up about it. i look forward to sleeping in my own bed, to having clean sheets, a nice shower, and to getting back into a running routine. at the same time, those are the very things i loved abandoning while away. i love how it no longer matters what you wear and how many days in a row you wear it. i love how sleep is a waist of time. time is for living, i will sleep when i'm dead. i love not being bothered with errands, ex boyfriends, cellphones, credit cards, traffic jams, and shopping malls. all the little things that leech onto your days and distract you from experiencing the simplest beauties of life.

once teen and i got to the airport i was finally able to get onto a computer and check my emails, for the first time in 2 weeks. ryan sent me his 4th email in 50 days. it was the most bland, generic, cheese-dick message of all time. i am amazed by his disconcern and am pretty sure he's no longer interested in being with me. this of course comes to no real big surprise. we have been drifting apart this entire trip, mainly due to his lack of communication. it is careless and it hurts, but i embrace it as the best thing for my life at this point.

in the durration of this journy i have grown. i have grown to know a new side of myself - someone i am proud to be. someone with an air of assurity, an assurity of the goodness in life. someone with an eagerness to learn and know. someone with a calm joy tucked away inside the most sacred parts of her heart. i have grown fond of life and the seemingly, never-ending abundance in which it presents itself to me. "live me!" she says! the world is waiting for us. the world is dieing to show us who we are and who we can be in her. i have grown to love the vagabon souls who ventured along side of me, blessed by their presence alone, this trip would be significantly less without them. i have grown in leaps and bounds, no longer plagued by petty little problems, like boys who can't keep up with me. i've grown to be brave, to take risks, to seize every second in every day, to look at life as an opportunity, to say fuck it at times and jump a few cliffs, to face every fear and doubt and worry and laugh at them. i have grown to know life as a living entity, so mysterious, so volatile, always changing, and moving along side of me, challenging me to be something more.

be brave be brave be brave be brave

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