home is

wherever there is you.
happy weekend all!

confession

i want to quit my job.
i want to sell all of my things and take only what i need.
i want to get the hell out of this city, this state, this country.
i want to take you with me.
i want to jump on a jet plane and leave this all behind.
i want to go and never look back.

how does that sound?

Canon ae-1. kodak 400x 35mm film.

when we were

little girls we would drape ourselves in grandmas silky scarves and build pillow forts between the couches. because she was my big sister, by 4 years, heather always was the leader in such important projects, and i, a fearless defender of her every breathing word. her ideas exceeded the number of pillows available in our household, but after several hours and a multitude of compromises we'd have ourselves a fine looking structure, suitable for a story book princess.

to celebrate our labors properly we'd perform a ceremonious dance around the fabric fortress that must have looked something like butterflies taking flight. we spun in circles and fluttered our silky extensions half expecting to catch a gust of wind and take off in the summer sky like a pair of tethered kites. after exhausting ourselves we'd burrow inside the billowy mound and lay as flat and still as young children can. we'd stare up at the cracks where pillow and sunlight met and i remember as clear as day, my amazement with the yellow light as it crept through gaps painting geometrical light patterns across my tiny body. i'd spend hours tracing their flickering outlines with my pointer finger and we'd giggle to each other over how something invisible could cover us so beautifully, like a golden bandage.

Canon ae-1. Kodak 400x 35mm film.

last weekend

i got to spend time with a wes and cameras; both of which seem to be symbiotic. we spent the better half of saturday exploring the city and i found myself fixated on photographing him photographing things. it feels right to me, seeing him this way - camera in hand, focusing his fancy hasselblad, and capturing a moment in a way that is all his own.

i also picked up my first roll of film from the new canon ae-1 and was very pleased that the prints came out pretty smooth. i will make sure to post more in the next few days.

canon ae-1. 35 mm kodak 400x.

today

it is rainy and grey out. not the good rainy and grey though, but the bad gloomy kind that destroys outdoor plans and lurks over head far beyond it's welcomed invitation. appropriatly so, elliot smith is lulling an infinite loop of bitter kisses into my ears and all i can think of is crawling back into my cream colored sheets. i need a plan. i need a fresh dream. i need something to pick me up and send me off on a paper boat or magic carpet. i need to see your face.

so

i have a website: http://www.colieparks.com/

what a wild revelation this is for me. it's almost impossible to wrap my head around.
just one year ago i purchased my first medium format camera and the year before that, my first camera ever - an sx70 alpha polaroid. i really had no clue what i was doing with either device, but i was motivated to learn one way or the other. trial and error is an educational process i highly recommend - being both teacher and student is such an edifying form of instruction, despite how costly it can get with film. i guess i've always believed that there is no price limit on life changing experiences, which would explain my justifications for shooting over 900 polaroids in the span of one year. the truth is, if it's what you love then nothing should stand in your way. not even paper money.

this whirl wind of an art form has truly been a great blessing on my life. it's captured my viability in more ways than one. it's introduced me to great individuals whose merited favor i hold deeply inside my chest. it's made me a student and a seeker, always growing with willful purpose. i am excited to see it on the computer screen, all laid out like a colorful quilt of the past 2 years of my life.

please enjoy the site. it will serve as an online portfolio for a few artistic grants i am applying for in the near future.

run away with me

here.

yashica a. medium format. 120 kodak 400tx b/w.

sometimes

moments occur with the kind of ferocity of a speeding cyclone. they pummel through our meager existence consuming every blade of grass, barking dog, and falling leaf with a terrifying vigor.

i am caught up in a whirl wind myself these days, some kind of hurling twister is spinning my head around with determined defiance. but i am not scared. i will go willingly.

yashica a. medium format. b/w 120. kodak 400tx.

it's been a little

over a week since my return from nyc and i finally feel settled in. i got my prints back from cph and to be honest, they really aren't anything to whoop and holler over. i probably wouldn't even write home about them, but never the less, they are little pieces of time frozen still for all eternity, and that in of itself is quite miraculous. i also loaded up on a bunch of films: provia 120, polaroid, 35 mm, and i finally got around to buying a new and very complicated canon ae-1 program 35 mm (since penny never recouped from the salt water catastrophe).

aside from my photo life, i've been taking some time out to focus on the things that build me up and put a smile on my face. i'm all consumed with a charles frazier novel thirteen moons. it's simple and rich and perfect for my life at this very moment. lots of evening runs and late night dinners seem to suffice my night owl tendencies, while making new friends has inspired a wealth of great ideas, new music, possible collaborations, art projects, and other various forms of unearthing that are possible only with the aid of human interaction.

in all of my wanting and wishing i must admit i am a thankful girl.

yashica a. medium format. kodak 400xt 12o film.

isn't it

a shame when memory fails us? not unlike being cast out of some palatial promise land where words and sound are void and images of dimly lit living rooms with two souls twirling beneath paper flags reign for all eternity.

i am forgetting a lot of beautiful things. it's just the way it goes. i suppose.

{my nyc prints are being held hostage at cph till monday. i hate waiting.}

pentax asahi k1000. 35mm seattle film.

back from

a great escape. i was lucky enough to trade one reality for another and take some time out in nyc with friends. it felt good to be immersed in the busy streets, with little time or concern to think twice about all the temporal drama that clogs my brain most days. truth be told, i got lucky many times over this trip. despite the lack of 120 film vendors in the city i managed to acquire a roll of b/w, i scored a few free taxis, saw a screening of where the wild things are, and met a very interesting photo taker. finally, i really felt my luck running over when i stumbled onto a robert frank exhibition at the met showcasing all 83 original prints from his the american's book, not to mention several journals, mock up books, and corresponding letters to walker evans. if you don't know his work, then i weep for you. he is basically the jack kerouac of photography and embodies the american spirit in the time (when i am absolutely certain i was meant to be alive) of the beatnik 1940s and 50s.

i absolutely adore him for numerous reasons; especially achieving dignified professional status without compromising himself. frank isn't full of fancy tricks or techniques, but is simply a humble journalist with two hearts in place of his eyes, on a constant journey in search of the spiritual, and capturing both the indescribable and yet utterly familiar.

please discover his story if you don't know it yet. you wont regret it.

also (and i utterly love this) bellow this photo a quote was inscribed:

"i am always looking outside, trying to look inside, trying to say something that is true. but maybe nothing is really true. except what's out there. and what's out there is constantly changing."

tell me

what you've done today,

i would like to know

write it on the rocks and then

tell me where to go.

tell me you're the lucky one

& how fast you can throw

tell me how much you like yourself

& tell me why you go

unlike you were someone else,

i want to know.

tell me something bad you've done

tell me about your ghosts

tell me about your magic touch

& every coin you toss

pentax asahi k1000. 35mm film.

cool little

article about me and my photos in lip magazine.

side note: i can't stop listening to yppah and this afternoon i bought my first winter coat for the season.

less than 4 days till nyc. i will be shooting medium format the ENTIRE time. gird your loins. there will be an explosion of prints after my return.

i don't

know if i'm moving forward or backwards anymore.

these are hard times for dreamers.

pentax asahi k1000. 35mm film.

for what it's worth

it's never too late or too early to be whoever you want to be. there is no time limit. you can start whenever and wherever you want. you can change into whatever you want to be. there are no rules to this thing, this life. you can make the worst of it or you can make the best of it.

i hope to make it the very best. i hope to see things that startle me and i hope to feel things i never thought were possible; but most of all, i hope to live a life that i am proud of and if i ever find that i am not, i hope i have the strength to never stop trying to find my way.

polaroid sx70 alpha. 600 film. nd filter.

i am counting

down the days till i get to skip town (10 to be exact). i really need to move around, to meet some new faces, and maybe see some old ones too. i need some crisp wind in my face, some kind of alive experience, a kind reminder that there is more to this life than fancy ideas and beautiful words... soon.

pentax asahi k1000. 35 mm velvia film.

listening

to efterklang makes me crafty. i wander around the house like a hungry ghost in search of something to take apart and put back together again - fabric, scissors, thread and needle, i stitch some handmade paper invites for an upcoming dinner party... an hour later, i dig through my photo box, flipping through prints tucked away in envelopes like long lost love notes... and viola! a small stack of images i never scanned or posted on here. it will have to suffice my roaming hands for a day or two.

i just recently learned that my pentax needs some doctoring. the shutter release is sticking, not snapping photos, and probably needs a new spring or something... and it couldn't come at a worse time. i'm leaving for a trip to nyc in a week and what little money i have set aside is reserved strictly for travels. thankfully my yashica is a fucking tank and survives epic blows and will thus accompany me on my next journey.

if anyone out there has a 35mm collecting dust on a shelf and is also giving enough to lend it to me for a trip i will love you forever and ever. if not, well then i suppose i will have to wait another month or so to either repair mine or buy a new one. oi vey.

Yashica A. Medium Format. 120 Velvia.

Pentax Asahi K1000. 35mm Film.

a fresh

update of the gallery i just want to be in love and take photos of it, is that too much to ask? is up. i hope you all are enjoying these images, i know i sure am. i fall in love with each photo for their stories and energy, and just the timelessness of it all. it's truly captivating. i think these are some of the most honest images you will see out there, despite the simplicity of their compositions. there is this detectable fullness of life and unfiltered emotion that takes place in each capture, creating a work of heart that harkens a new truth.

featured photo by: sarah

my life is

a series of events, that all become stories.

i guess part of my fascination with photo taking is the ability of recording it all; maybe not with great accuracy but certainly with great heart...

Pentax Asahi K1000. 35mm film.

just updated the gallery.

18 new photos.

18 new artists.

thanks for the input and suggestions.

keep them coming (over 6,000 views in 3 days)!!!!

featured photo by: hana

i am

on a journey. to everywhere.

i read this proust passage today, "the voyage of discovery is not in seeking new landscapes but in having new eyes".... just pure gold.

pentax asahi k1000. 35mm film.

i am

collecting photographs by other people who continue to inspire me, on a topic that motivates the very nature of life itself. i will be updating this collection weekly, with a rotation of 18 new photos and artists. you can take a sneak peek of it here:

i just want to be in love and take photos of it. is that too much to ask?

if you have any suggestions of photos you think may fit the gallery, link me up. i will add them (already over 5,000 views in two days!!!)

Pentax Asahi K1000. 35 mm b/w

somtimes

you leave because you really want to stay.

Pentax Asahi K1000. 35 mm.

i don't

want the world anymore.

i want the world with you in it.

pentax asahi k1000. 35 mm. b/w.

had a nice

mini visit with dan last weekend. we didn't accomplish too much - walked around the neighborhood, snapped some photos, ate good food, and laughed at the expense of each other. i guess that's the thing about spending time with close friends, it's not what you do or where you go - it's who you're with and how they make you feel that merits only the fondest of memories.

the photos above are of my best friend, roommate, and muse - kylie. i've gotten into the habit of photographing her often and she has gotten in the habit of letting me. i have started a little series called come into our room. i plan on shooting a lot more in this environment, it's simple to do and i love the intimate feeling i get from it. plus, any excuse to shoot in natural light like this... well i'll take it. i know the series is nothing much yet, but for now it's just enough to keep me motivated - more ideas, more light, more consistency.

so press play

and stay tuned.

i have

the flu. being sick is horrible and come monday i am pretty sure i will have turned completely into a fluid. the only thing holding me together at this point is this american life season 2, tomato soup, and the batch of prints i just got in the mail.

it's nice to enjoy photos of nothing and for no one in particular, just a few fleeting moments captured quickly, collected at ease, for your own amusement.

i have been getting back into the habit of carrying at least one camera with me wherever i go, with no expectations of really achieving anything because it's not really about that all the time, is it? sometimes it's just the process of always making, always looking, learning, always keeping your hands moving and eye's searching. for a very long time i lost that spirit. i was stuck in a place where i didn't belong and in a relationship where i didn't fit. it's incredible really, how much our personal lives filter directly into what we create. i look at what i was doing then, what i captured and the words i wrote, and it's so obvious to me now how unhappy i was.

about a month ago i started to get emails; people who have followed the blog or flickr explaining how happy they were to see me back in action, to see me inspired and creating once more. i was floored by their words. i had no idea it was so evident. i guess i was too immersed in the bullshit to see.

i realize that in a unique community like this, one that is open to the entire world, the nature of sharing images, words and ideas is a volatile one. there is never any guarantee that anyone will like it, or understand it; hell there is no guarantee anyone will even see it... but that is not why we share. we share because we simply must. it helps us endure our days, it helps us make sense of the world around us, it helps grab hold of feelings we can't bare to let go of. and then sometimes, if we are truly lucky, someone out there in the vast greatness of this capricious community gets it.

i am thankful for moments like that, for the words and experiences people have shared with me. i will hold them dearly and closely to my heart.

Pentax Asahi K1000. Seattle Film.

the best

part of my week is this moment here and now.

it's sneaking out of the office a little early.

it's hot jogs through the cities greener parts.

it's the music that fills our hallways.

it's the pining over mini skirts and sandals.

it's dimly lit lights and laughter behind half full glasses.

it's the bringing together of kindreds.

it's privileged youth at the height of life eternal.

it's the never ending potential of a long weekend escapade.

happy friday.

Yashica A. Medium Format. 120 Film.

i love

our secrets

coming undone.

polaroid sx70 alpha. 600 film. no filter.

more from

the kyle + casey shoot. we found a busted old laundry mat near wills pub to shoot in. the light was horrifically florescent, but thankfully i was using b/w.

we also found a few other cute spots to play around with and finish off the roll. all in all this duo was a delight to work with. i want to do some solo stuff with the both of them. casey is insanely photogenic in a sincere unknowingly sort of way, i can just picture doing something very environmental with her. kyle is a big ball of fun and up for anything. you can say "hey scale that building" and before you have the shot lined up he is in position.

i wish i were good a graphic design so i could throw a little something extra together for them, like cd art style stuff... i need to work on that i suppose. that is why i envy people like autumn de wilde. her photo work is so casual cool and her design stuff just takes it all to the next level.

if you haven't noticed yet, i am very much into the low production look- a handmade heaven, wreathing in vintage glory, of some newly found discarded art. this is not to say i don't appreciate the digital stuff. i love looking at it, but can never imagine myself working in that medium. the process just doesn't appeal to me at all. lately i've been feeling a little presure to move into that direction.... but i can safely say, my feet aren't budging. at least not yet.

Yashica A. Medium Format. 120 b/w Film.

the impromptu

shoot with kyle and casey, two local orlando musicians (who completely rock), was sooo fun. just a few weeks ago we trolled around will's pub an hour or so before their show and squeezed in some shots between spurts of rain. the film happened to be expired walmart 35 mm gifted from a friend - sadly only half the roll turned out. however, i have another roll of 120 b/w waiting to be processed.

to hear some rough demo's of their music you can visit kyle's myspace.

Pentax Asahi K1000. 35 mm film.