this photo is of michael valenzano and josh worden, the same cool cats of a pause in the desert. it reminds me so much of the rickety southern charm that is downtown jacksonville. there is something special about that place... it's a little unpolished and yet completely sophisticated. a place after my own heart, i think.

as for me, i'm all moved out of my sublease and living the life of a vagabon, for at least for a week or so. until i find a place to move into, i'm basically crashing with friends and living out of an overnight bag... not as fun as one may suspect, but a girls gotta do what a girls gotta do.

Yashica A, 120 Kodak Porta Film, Medium Format. 6x6.

i just picked up the film from the shoot with "a pause in the desert" and i am very hyped about the results. this photo is one of my favorites from this location. we were somewhere in downtown jacksonville, outside a hipster bar sweating uncontrollably because why else, it's july in florida.

more to come.

Yashica A. 120 Kodak Porta. Medium Format.

these are some of my favorites from a series with the indie rock due "a pause in the desert". i just got back from my 2nd weekend of shooting with them and can't wait to pick up 3 more rolls of film.

Yashica A. Kodak 120 Film. 6x6 Medium Format.

sometimes great adventures happen in slow motion,

so be patient.

Yashica A. Medium Format. Kodak 120 Film.

so i'm back!

so i've been m.i.a. for a few months... regretfully so. a lot of drama has been smothering my personal life and hijacking all of my creativity. following the bad break-up, moving out, and a few health issues, i sort of disappeared from society. it got so bad at one point that everyday after work i would drive straight home, lock myself in my room and lay in my bed for hours until i fell asleep. no computer, no phone, just issolation. that wasn't healthy for me and it didn't take long for it to take it's toll on every facet of my life.

eventually i snapped out of it and now i'm in the process of pulling it the fuck together. lets face it, life doesn't stop and wait around for you to get over a broken heart. it keeps on going. needless to say i have a lot of life to catch up on.

these photos are from a photoshoot i did with the musical duo known as "a pause in the desert" from jacksonville, florida. what a pleasure it's been working with these guys. we met up one day, walked around town, grabbed a bite to eat, had some whiskey and just familiarized ourselves with one another... all infront of the lens of my yashica a.

i'm going up to jax beach this weekend to shoot them once more - hopefully with better lighting this time. i will be posting a lot more of the shoot and also additional info about the band.

Yashica A Model. 120 Kodak Film.

Polaroid SX 70. 600 Film. Filter.

Polaroid SX 70. 600 Film. Filter.

a part of me is to be removed today.

it's taking a lot to keep from unraveling.

nothing is what i imagined it would be anymore.

Polaroid Sx 70. 600 Film. ND Filter.

"those three days and nights i had the best of both worlds, in that i had her and yearned for her at the same time. i looked down through the blue air, high above the corrugated world, bathed in various hues of light from dawn to dawn, privileged to be young at the highest pitch of green summer." thirteen moons, page 166.

the rain is finally starting to get to me. everything in sight is dark and dismal. the luminous clouds lurk above head, plotting and pining strategically for the exact moment you wonder off without an umbrella, to catch you in your finest hour and unleash it's watery trove. three times today i've been bombarded by the sky's torrential down pours. precarious in nature or deliberate attacks i wonder?

well the heavens above can wreak havoc on me all day long as far as i'm concerned, because it's finally friday and i've got a nice long weekend of life living ahead of me, no amount of water can dampen that. as a matter of fact i challenge the rain to persist. summer just isn't the same without swimming in the rain.

Polaroid Sx 70 Alpha. 600 Film.

today has been a battle of motivation. it's been raining non-stop since monday. they sky is grey and the air is heavy and palpable and advising me to turn around and go back to bed. i found this polaroid of myself wedged between the pages of a worn out copy of 13 moons. flipping through the chapters i took note of the passages underlined in ink:

"desire abides. it is all people have to stand proof against time. everything else is burned up by the sun and swept away with the tide." page 67

i tried to remember myself when i first read this story: the free thinking traveler, wandering the streets of barcelona and devouring life's freshest experiences without worry. my wild hair curled up around my face in a fashion ironically resembling a lions mane, with tired feet and a restless heart, i burned for true love... in me was this belief, that if i opened my heart up enough there would be no limits in love.

Polaroid Sx 70 Alpha. ND Filter. 600 Film.

i'm not going to write about how him anymore.

i'm not going to describe the sound of his voice when he'd whisper "goodnight" as we fell asleep together.

i won't even mention the softness of his touch.

and when i'm alone in my new room, i wont think about how he smelt after his morning shower, and how that sent would linger in the air after he left for work.

i'm going to erase my memories of waking up beside him and staring at his skin as he slept, pretending that his freckles were clovers covering a field.

there are consequences for the things we you do

and then there are consequences for the things we did not do.

it is over.

i have to face this

and move on.

in the night i called your name

one letter at a time

sprawled across the greenest grass

i buried that old heart of mine

Polaroid Sx 70 Alpha. Sx 70 Blend Film.

i am in the process of putting my life back together.

it still hurts. i have been having trouble finding the right words for things lately, so odds are i just need a little time to get my thoughts straightened out.

i will get back to posting photos more regularly very soon.
apologies for the lengthy sabbatical
and thank you for the kind words.

Polaroid Sx 70 Alpha. 600 Film. No Filter.

au revior simone has my heart.

what is there left to say?

i'm on my own again.

i'm exactly where i was one year ago. it's heart breaking really; so much love to lose, so much fight in me just defused.

all the little things add up don't they? they add up to a great deal in fact.

Polaroid Sx 70 Alpha. ND Filter. 600 Film.

now i know,

everything does happen for a reason.

if it weren't for a breaking heart, there would be no empty space, or the need to fill it.

i can't help but recall a conversation i had once about him. over tea i told my sister how my heart changes everyday. everyday i get a fraction of a millimeter happier and also a fraction of a millimeter sadder. not to say that they could cancel each other out. no. not at all. the fact that i got a little happier today doesn't change the fact that i also became a little sadder. every day i become a little bit more of both, which means that right now, at this exact moment i'm the happiest and saddest i've ever been in my life.

why, she asked me.

because, nothing makes me happier and nothing makes me sadder than him.

Lomo Fisheye.