self

this is the sister polaroid to the last post.

not quite a typical portrait shot, but i really like the light and positioning, it gives me a sort of uncomfortable feeling... like i need to know more. if you click on the image you can see it enlarged. there is some really great detail in the face and hair... after a year and a half of shooting JUST polaroids i'm still amazed by the quality.

Polaroid Sx70. 600 Film. ND Filter. Faces Series (#2).

self

FACES - the project:
portraiture has always fascinated me. there is so much beauty in a face. histories lye behind locked-in eyes and stories reveal themselves in parted lips. an outer narrative, captured in the moment, can speak volumes for histories to come.

as it's an incredible honor to tell stories by way of what i see in my travels and adventures, i plan on focusing a lot of my upcoming film on faces. i'm going to let the portraits do the story telling.

and to kick off this idea i would like to ask (if anyone is even reading this) what story does this portrait tell you?
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5 facts about self:
my full name is nicole renee parks
i collect vintage vinyl lp's
my first cat's name was crumby cookie
i haven't cut my hair in 21 months
robots scare me

Polaroid Sx70. 600 Film. ND Filter. Faces Series (#1).

today is a new day

today is the beginning of a new world for my country. it's the beginning of hope in the hearts of many who have suffered great losses in the defeats of our sinking economy. it's the beginning of faith for those who stopped believing that our leaders truly cared about our well being. it's the beginning of nationalism and civic pride for so many who thought their voice could not be heard. it is the beginning of love in the eyes of the socially forlorn, who thought equality could never exist amongst men and women of varied races.

today i reflect back on the experiences of my upbringing. with a middle eastern mother, 1st generation born in America and a very patriotic father who worked 35 years for the US military, i was raised to value my freedoms as a luxury. to this day i take pride in the opportunities we are granted - to speak freely, to believe in any religion we may chose, to pursue happiness till our hearts content, to start from absolutely nothing and build not only financial wealth but also wealth of spirit.

these past few years have been tough for me in many ways. i faced health issues that were financially not supported by the government's health care policies. i was dropped from my parents coverage because i was too old and as of yet can not afford my own, nor can i seek government support because i am too young. as a home owner in such a troubling relestate market i risk loosing my entire inheritance left to me by my father. the stress i endure every single day, worrying about my physical and financial lively hood is exhausting and in many ways has lead me to lose hope in my countries ability to provide opportunities for ALL people.

after experiencing president obama's inauguration speech today, i felt my hope come back to life. i remembered all of the reasons why i am so proud to live in this country. i remembered that my success is not defined by the dollars in my pocket, rather it is measured by the experiences i build helping others, by the moral ethics practiced in my daily life, and by working hard to build a life i am proud of.

yesterday these things seemed like an ideal of the past and today i could feel the cloud of stress, that has surrounded me for years, lift in a way that i can see a future of possibilities ahead of me.

Yashica A model. 6x6 120vc Kodak Film. Double Exposure.

the other day i got a phone call at work from a very elderly woman named beverly. beverly was interested in scheduling a museum tour for a group of senior women belonging to an organization called PEO. as usual i was in the middle of 3 or 4 projects, so i huridly grabbed the tour forms and scribbled down her information. just as i started to rush her off the phone i had this weird feeling of deja vu... i can't thinking: PEO... PEO.... PEO! and then it hit me - Mrs. Gessler!!!!

back in 2001 i met a little old woman named Mrs. Gessler. i used to wait tables at Outback Steakhouse and she and her husband would come in once a week. I

recently i have been seeking solitude. not to be confused as disinterested or withdrawn, i just have been longing for a little peace to think. for quite some time i have treasured those simple moments alone, lying on my bed, staring up at the ceiling, letting my thoughts run together in a harmonious symphony of sounds and images, inspiring ideas and dreams soon to be manifested in real life, and then who knows... maybe even captured on film.

today my thoughts have been on the big move coming up, which i must admit, are exciting and scary wrapped up together in what feels like a wild, heart-racing, cliff jump. 

never in my life have i made such a leap for a man that i love, and yet never in my life have i loved a man so much as i do b. when i look at him i see my lover, my partner in crime, my closest advisor, my best friend, and the keeper of my deepest, most desired, hopes and dreams.

isn't it true, that with every great adventure there is a degree of uncertainty lying beneath the surface of our smiles? isn't it the human condition to fear the great unknown? and yet, by exploring the uncharted we in-turn conquer our fears.

so many of my thoughts lead me to feel a little scared about this, but even more, so much of my heart tells me i'm ready - ready for our next great adventure together.

Yashica A Model. 6x6 120vc Kodak Film. Light Chasing.