August 17, 2008

it's been too long

i don't know if i truly believe in fate.

of course i spend hours day dreaming as if it were real, especially if i am in a shitty situation. i like to pretend i'm valiantly fulfilling a predetermined hardship, one in which i will successfully overcome, learn the moral of the story, and reach my providence.

the art historian in me needs data and facts. so i researched fate... it's dorky, but it comforts me.
fate began as a story told by the greek philosophers. three goddess sisters, Glatho, Lachesis, and Atropos, who presided over the births and lives of mortals. each mortal life was thought of as a thread, spun, measured, and cut by the three sisters.

centuries later fate is still talked about and seen everywhere. it's in the movies we watch and the books we read. it's even in the radio ballads we sing - of nobel quests fulfilling a serendipitous fortune. you know it's funny, but the words fate and destiny even feel good to say.


(ironically the latin origin of the word fate is fatum, which means to speak/spoken. this can not be a coincidence...)

still unconvinced, i do know however that there is meaning in the events of our lives. i have always found comfort in knowing that no matter how fucked up a situation can get i will be able to find some hidden message and pivotal life lesson behind that experience... it wasn't till recently, when i decided to make some major life changes, and to act on responsibilities which had been neglecting for far too long, that i realized in the end it is me who decides my "destiny". i freely chose where i will go next, what i will succeed in or fail at. choices... they are so crucial to our existance. because of our choices we become who we are and conversely who we are not.
i wake up. i look at myself in the mirror and i think - what shall i be today?

a tree? a horse? a flying kite soaring in the face of the clouds?

maybe today i will be all of those things or none of them... maybe i will be a girl in search of something fulfilling, in search of purpose in what she does daily, in search of a love that is lasting, in search of all the hidden truths the world can bear itself to share, and of the deepest and purest moments of life as they pass by, moments that our sculpted antiquity could not predestine....
Polaroid sx 70. 600 film. nd filter.


  1. I believe there is such a thing as fate (or destiny) but it appears under the guise of opportunity. Where we come in (and take back some measure of control)... is in deciding which opportunity to take up. It's all good so long as we don't look back with regret. And in the end... all road's (eventually) lead to Rome. A lovely muse Colie!