April 19, 2007

scribbled on a map of england... in england of course

i am seeing the world and i am seeing myself in every step. i am seeing the world and myself and God and i feel as though it were the first time i ever used my eyes. there is so much beauty, so much sunshine, so much love to experience. i am taking it all in, i am standing at the base of a mountain- plotting my assent. i am feeling the rain on my face, i am falling in love 100 times a day, i am singing to the clouds as they take shape in the sky. i am abandoning my fears and worries of inadequacey and just living. i am swiming in the 7 seas, i am lying in fields of daisey's watching the sun creep up between the trees and warm my little feet.

i sat down today, on the other side of the world, and let these moments come over me. they were born up out of my mind. they traveled throughout my body. they visited my heart. they filled my eyes with tears. and every universe was there, along with every first kiss, and setting sun, and beautiful thing i've ever lived through. and i've never felt so alive as i do sitting here right now. i borrowed some passing man's pen and scribbled this down on my map.

....and i laugh, because i realize these harmless little words, so limited, and so small- can not even begin to catch up to the pase of my thoughts. how can i ever describe the rivers of joy that flow out of my belly? how can i organize the way my heart opened up today over smoothed out stones on this black sandy beach, hiding in caves, filling our pockets with shells that will never make it home?

i can't.

all i can do is let it run it's course through my body, pushing the blood through my viens, dancing with the tiny molecules that i forget are even there, and be as much of me as i am of myself.

oh how we are built for love. like tiny little vessels drifting along some endless current. oh the potential, the possobilities, the dreams we hold- such precious cargo, bottled up, and ready to serve.

i will let life love me. i will let love live inside me. i will see the beauty and the jems of possibilities life inspires for me.

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