14.

his dreams are like the open sea - vast, encompassing, and volatile. sometimes his desire to grow up and see the world feels as mysterious to him as it does familiar - as if some innate force has laid dormant inside him since birth, a force that yells "GO, LIVE, SEEK..." and after 14 precious years of life, it finally has begun to stir inside him.

i can recall, as clear as day, the summer of my 14th year and my insatiable love for jackson lee. i'd lie beneath my parents "in-repair" houseboat and day dream about the moment we'd see each other again. one afternoon i spread my mothers nicest bed linens across the front lawn and pretended to read the dusty agatha christey novel i found in the old shed. i was hoping jackson would come out of his house and see me, innocently lying beneath the shade, tanned from the summer sun, and shyly peaking back at him from behind the stale pages of a weathered love novel... but after waiting for what felt like a lifetime i gave up, and was forced to do laundry for a week after dirtying my mom's sheets.

14 was a painful coming of age. it was the first time in my life i desired freedom from my parents. countless dreams of driving the coast and chasing blonde haired boys filled my head at night. i remember the longing was so unbearable that it physically hurt - all of my youths desire and yearning bottled up inside a little heart ready to explode.

i desperately wanted time to pass so that i could grow up and escape my backyard. i spent so much of my youth fantasizing about growing up that before i knew it i was a grown up fantasizing about being 14 again...

there is nothing quite like life at 14. words can not explain the innumerable hopeless fires that burned inside my chest. worlds could not contain the down right petrifying uncertainties of my future. 14 was a year of glorified youth and it was nothing short of remarkable.

will we ever be as passionate about life as we were when we were 14?