thinking

my dad's birthday is today. i cried because i missed him.

this new detergent smells like fruitloops. my sheets are making me hungry.

i ran out of clean clothes, so i'm wearing a bathing suit top under a sweater.

winter makes me feel soft and curvy.

le baiser means fuck it in french. this is useful.

grades are posted from finals. i did okay. school is exhausting and rarely rewarding.

oh no! oh my! is goodness and reminds me of mo mo and broken social scene. i can dance to this.

rhett and i walked in the woods last night. he is very sick. we talked a lot about God.

i like that it was super cold out. we hugged in the driveway and stared at our breath.

black coffee is disgusting but it makes me feel grown up.

i had a dream about sleeping in a boat in the ocean. it was peaceful.

marcus comes tomorrow across the atlantic, to be with me. i can't remember if i've loved him.

my hair is already long again. i am going to put it in braids.

i fear that no one will ever be enough for me. i am complacent to loneliness.

page 180 in the great gatsby is beautiful. i think i am like Nick.

i wrote this on my mirror:

"then wear the gold hat, if that will move her;

if you can bounce high, bounce for her too,

till she cry - lover, gold hatted, high bouncing lover,

i must have you."

it reminds me of a boy that i barely know and how much i still want him.

one time i heard someone say the rest of your life begins now. i think i understand.