i feel

nostalgic for memories that haven't yet happened.

Pentax Asahi K1000. Expired 35 mm Film.

if i had $1

for every time i get asked "why polaroid?" i would be able to afford an infinite supply of instant film.

now i realize this story may seem arbitrary, especially if you recently happened to stumble across this blog and my images. however, rewind time back a few years, and you would see that polaroid was the only language i visually spoke. in fact, for one whole year i strictly shot with a polaroid sx 70 alpha (and a combination of 600 film, time zero, and atz) tallying over a respectable sum of 912 polaroids.

that chapter of my life was a result of sheer inspiration, of curiosity, of friendship, and most importantly of the need to tell a story. i think we all experience this at least once in our lives. we cross paths with a remarkable person - someone whose self-awareness shakes us to the core, and as a result we are in awe, not only of the things we see in them but in how they show us a piece of ourselves that could have easily never existed without them.

i think back to those days of glory often. it was very much an unusual phenomenon in my life. i didn't even own a camera before i met raymond and suddenly i was capturing images of everything i saw and felt and wanted to say but had no words to explain.

raymond is an amazing photographer. his polaroid images are

i am

home from what felt like a very long journey...

there is much to be said, much to be seen,

and even more to come.

until then my bed and a new book are looking very nice right now.

happy sunday.

Pentax Asahi K1000. 35 mm Film.

getting

the hell out of dodge this weekend.
i need to take a big step back and a long hard look at some things in my life. nothing a 3 hour drive down 275 can't cure. with the windows down and the music up i plan on letting the wind rip through my hair reminding me of all the things i am in this world.

i keep imagining the last time i was back: breathing in the salt water air, so thick you can practically reach out and grab it. i was so grateful to be near the sea i ran full speed off of the dock and jumped in with everything on but my shoes. "unconventional colie". always.
we would stay up all hours of the night, swinging in hammocks, and sipping on rum. i would profess my love for the night sky that hung above our heads and tell you about the lives i've lived before this very one here and now.

and what will this weekend entail? the possibilites are endless.
oh the potential of a weekend escape.

Yashica A. Medium Format. 120 Kodak.

just

a little wish list i am sending out into the cosmic universe.

1. tim walker collection of images
2. straight story english riding boots (sz. 8)
3. hasselblad 500 cm
4. grand turismo donna bicycle
5. rose bud strawberry lip gloss
6. vintage luggage

herman mack.

i'm pretty excited to see my boys getting written up on jaxunderbelly, a jacksonville blogchive that interviews local talent, and what a talent they are. also, just to toot my own horn a tad, the images featured here are MINE! please check out the article and pretend there is photo cred. (corrected by michael valenzano. thank you friend.)

also, if you happen to be located within the central/northern florida proximity you should check out their show next weekend. this will entail loads of cool stuff including (but not limited to): great music, installation art, intelligent conversation, and of course yours truly.

details here.

most

mornings i wake up as the softest light fills my room. tiny water drops condensate on my window panes like islands floating in an unoccupied ocean. i lie there for a textbook moment; letting it all sink in. leo is curled up by my feet and disappointed with my lack of motivation. eventually i make my way to the kitchen. i stop to feed a grouse cat. i begin the coffee process and further commence into morning routines, most of which i hate to admit, i quite enjoy. since the record player is in a room adjacent to the kitchen i play a tune or two. something pleasant to ease my day into.

and as i style my hair into a "not so" unruly fashion i think about all the things that could be... where could this day possibly take me? what adventures are waiting for me outside of my door? and although this outlook feels slightly juvenile, it excites me to know that this day has unceasing potential to be the first day of the rest of my life.

Polaroid sx 70 Alpha. 600 Film. No Filter.

is it

too much to ask to live inside a tim walker photograph?

although this is hardly my style of photography i find myself enraptured by his work. the sacrinly sweet images are oozing with romance and whimsy. and although the embellishments of a french rococo reminiscence never quite appealed to me, walker manages to weave modern elements into his photos so seamlessly that my eyes refuse to look away.

this is the kind of work that sustains an appetite, a feast for the visual "imagineers".

i will be splurging on his book after pay day.

kerouac

stole my heart this morning.

"the only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a common place thing, but burn burn burn like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars."

i am inspired by thoughts of adventure and also by the dream of someday sharing it with another. so much has been changing around me. i feel poised and ready for my next move in life, like an arrow ready to shoot out into the sky...

i don't want to sit still not ever, except maybe to ponder my next step...

Pentax Asahi k1000.

i was sitting on a rock

just waiting for a key

to sleep inside the house

of old serenity

so i climbed up to your alter

and begged please don't let me falter

we can put our oaths at stake

in a heaven icicles make

i give all of my devotion

compelled by an ocean

of all the years to come

so lets go on pretending

that the light is never ending

we'll have a hundred summers

to be good to one another

all the years to come

beach house music is constantly swimming in my mind these day.

a new story:

i was sitting on a rock

just waiting for a key

to sleep inside the house

of old serenity

so i climbed onto your alter

and begged please don't let me falter

we can put our oaths at stake

in a heaven icicles make

all of my devotion

compelled by an ocean

of all the years to come

let's go on pretending

that the light is never ending

we'll still have all the summers

to be good to one another

and all of the years to come

something filled my heart up

with nothing

someone told me not to cry

now that i'm older

my heart is colder

saturday

inspirations.

i am obsessed with photographing things that hang, dangel, or float above head... i suppose part of the reason is empathy. these days i feel as though i am drifting along the summer sky, soaring above the earth and waving in the breeze.

photo by our labor of love.

every

passing minute is another chance
to turn it all around.

Polaroid Sx 70 Alpha. 600 Film. ND Filter.

more

from the shoot with wes sumner. i've always wanted to photograph in the downtown library. thankfully there was a lot of interior and natural light, also wes helped me gauge the exposure settings with his digital camera, so the shots actually came out pretty clear. apparently i need a light meter... among other things.

i think what i love most about these photos is the mood. i can't quite put my finger on it... it's not exactly cheery nor is it completely sinister. the first frame reminds me of some old french foreign film - casually saturated with jewel tone colors and subtle highlights.

i still have another roll of film to develop which i am super hyped about. there was a lot of experimenting that day and if the next roll is anything like the first, then i will be doing cartwheels around the parking lot of CPH.

also, more polaroid portraits to come.

night night.

Yashica A. 120 Film. 6x6. Medium Format.

this

past weekend i had the pleasure of shooting with atlanta's photo extraordinare wes sumner.

we explored orlando's "urban" scene and jumped right into photoshoot mode, which still kinda cracks me up... and with 6 or 7 cameras between the both of us, this meet-up could certainly be classified as an official nerd-out.

the photos above were taken at lake eola, in the center of downtown orlando. i must admit i was very pleased when the rain clouds came rolling over head and even though it cut most of our outside time in half, within the few minutes before the onslaught of rain, we were both able to snap a few shots in the "pre-storm" soft light.

there are more photos to come of this adventure. these just happen to be my favorites.

also, go check out wes' blogspot

Polaroid Sx 70 Alpha. 600 Film. ND Filter. Close up lens.
Yashica A. 120 Film.

standing

in the vacant field a few blocks from my apartment i focused with concentration. morgan's patience was astounding. the tall summer grass reached up from the earth and tickled the backs of my legs; just another distraction i blocked out as i pressed my finger on the shutter release button. with lips parted and a stillness in the air, the moment was captured.

Polaroid. Sx 70 Alpha. 600 Film. ND Filter. Close up lens.

Yashica A. 120 Film.

Polaroid Sx 70 Alpha. 600 Film. ND Filter. Close up lens.

project time

so i have a project on my hands at the moment. the ever lovely polaroid wall. we have a blank space in our hallway that is begging for some attention. i've been considering this for quite some time but i just didn't want it to be one of those silly cliches.

however, the more i keep thinking about it, the more i realize (cliche or not) these memories do not deserve to be sitting in a box under my bed. it just doesn't seem right. so a girls gotta do what a girls gotta do - and thus begins the polaroid wall project.

Photo by: Sylvia

it's the little things... there's nothing bigger is there.

Polaroid Sx 70 Alpha. 600 Film. ND Filter.

out the windows of my bedroom

through the backyards of our neighbors

i didnt leave you waiting

there was endless concentration

the moon swept down to greet us

it was warm and made of flowers

into vines that barely reached us

climbing higher than forever

i'm home on lunch. sitting bellow a lazy fan. sipping water out of a mason jar. thankful.

Polaroid Sx 70 Alpha. 600 Film.

i am getting older but i can hardly feel it.
it shocks me, daily, to see the effects of times handiwork: the little lines around my eyes that curl up as i smile... and although i can not prove this has anything to do with times passing, i swear that my hair is getting curlier... i don't mind these changes. truly. i am just amazed by such haste.
my father described to me once, his surprise as he looked into the mirror one day and did not see his 17 year old self staring back.

what an odd thing to realize mid life.

lately, i've realized everyone around me obsessively planning ahead for the future. it seems a pity to not be just as satisfied with the now.

i have spent my entire life living in the moment, collecting the details of every split second, and storing them in the mossy memory banks of my mind. harboring the magical minutia of daily life is fantastic and a little deceptive; i don't miss a single detail other than the actual passing of time. such realizations are alarming and at times leave me paralyzed to see who is staring back at me each morning.

when i grow up

i want to live near the sea

crab claws and bottles of rum

that's what i'll have

staring at the seashell

waiting for it to embrace me.

fever ray.

photobooth. mac isight.